My focus today is surviving the zombie apocalypse by finding suitable transportation... i get so sick of movies and tv shows where the plucky hero finds a car that is driveable, but no keys. Keys? since when do we need keys?

Take for example, the 2nd episode of "The Walking Dead". Our plucky hero runs his Crown Vickie out of gas, scopes out a mid-70's pickup... no keys. No problem. All he would've had to do was either smash out the left hand top side of the steering column just above the signal light switch and pop the lock free, or kick the steering wheel free, or hell, just see if the fucking ignition would turn without it! (that vintage GM was known for doing that). But alas, no, he grabs a fuckilicious horse. A horse? A 1500lb buffet... uh huh.

When choosing a vehicle to tool around the apocalyptic wasteland, careful consideration must given as to what you want to do, what happens if you break down and how much damage the front end can take when piling over the pesky undead. Everyone will be quick to say pickup truck or SUV with a push bar and that would be a good choice except for the mileage. Assume that you'll have to fill the fucker up everytime you turn around and that means exposing yourself to the pesky undead every time you have to siphon gas. Ok, a what about a diesel? Same deal.

Full-size sedan with a pushbar is a nice choice, but the automatics are so fragile. Compact cars can duck and dodge but lets face it, a crowd of undead and that Kia Rio is fucked. What about heavy construction equipment? Yeah, a front end loader is definitely ideal for clearing out crowds clamboring for your intenstines, but with a top speed of 15 mph, where are you going to go?
personally, i say alternate. A dumptruck here, a pickup there, a sports car for those long distance high speed burns between enclaves of surviving humanity.

with that said, you have scoped out your World War Z-mobile and it's cherry... no keys. Well, forget hotwiring. That shit is for the movies and fiction. Some cars it's as simple as a flathead screwdriver and a mighty twist. Others, well, it;s a little more complicated. I am going to assume that fiction is wrong and that someone getting eaten and dragged from their Porsche is not going to think, "you know, i should take my keys just in case some lucky living fucker needs to get out of dodge." Nope. I'm going to assume that 99.9% of the time, their keys are going to be the LAST thing on their minds... so that does help our hapless adventurers.

As time goes on, batteries will die and gas will turn to shit... best to stuff a can of octane boost and a small jumper back in your backpack... just in case. Granted if the undead horde is bearing down on you, well, you're fucked. But if you have the time, keys and a car, fuel and power are not a problem. Another good thing to keep with you is a small battery operated pump and maybe 12 feet of tygon tubing. Why? Well, duh. You think powerplants are going to keep chugging after their crews have been eaten? Well, no, silly... these are the best ways to siphon fuel for your Mad Max-esque last stand. Lord Humungous would soooo proud. (looks like you got yourself some guzzoline, eh?)

there is probably more, but what fun would that be...

Cobalt, right?

Posted by bandi Cobalt, right?

now now... that's just being a dick.

Oh you knew it was coming :p

This thread has so much win potential. Now are we all allowed to chime in, or shall this just be Sams?

Pretty good things to keep in mind Sam! I have a list of people I would feed to the zombies. Maybe that could win their loyalty and they'll leave me alone until the list is used up.

With my list, I'm good for quite a few years.

You would be better off with your ATV or a motocross dirt bike

efficient, maneuverable, able to cross terrain and roads that other vehicles can't.

it's no good being in a tank of a car that's gonna get blocked in easily.

you gotta figure there's gonna be a lot of traffic jams and blocked roads that are going to be overrun.

start thinking outside the box.

I've always wanted to joyride a CSX inspection car (the kind that goes on railroads) I figure most the rail network will probably remain in place undisturbed and unblocked.

another one-off possibility for safe traverse are high tension power lines: once the grid goes down I'll be using these things as ziplines.

I figure I've got a high point of observation and they run parallel to other critical infrastructure.

My picks for a common ZAV would be a Buick Roadmaster wagon, a Chevy Astro AWD, Toyota Previa AWD, and any hard-top Jeep. These vehicles cover all bases, and with the exception of the Previa, aren't terribly uncommon.

I think the biggest issue is that people expect to keep a vehicle for a while. NO! You acquire a vehicle, drive it until it is no longer useful, and grab a new one.

Tools are what you need, not a car. If you have a very very basic tool set, including a hammer, a screwdriver or two, an adjustable wrench, and maybe some pliers, you'll be able to get most vehicles started in short order, no matter how "protected" the steering column is or how borked the whatever system is.

Sam is right, you don't need to try to spend time hotwiring, go for the obvious stuff first. Loose ignition cylinders, accessible ignition switches, KEYS!!!

I wouldn't care about fuel to be honest. Unless you have the best vehicle in THE WORLD, just ditch it and get a new one when your tank runs dry.

Posted by wannabeotaku I wouldn't care about fuel to be honest. Unless you have the best vehicle in THE WORLD, just ditch it and get a new one when your tank runs dry.

to a car guy, this comment is like putting a bullet in an infant... it's just wrong! wrong! wrong!!!
()

Sam, hun...I can't believe you actually watched this show.

I really can't.

It just didn't seem like your particular type of television.

Myself....fuck the vehicle. I'm more of a horse person, or a dogsled person. You'd be amazed how quiet a horse or a dogsled is, especially if you muzzle said dogs or horse. You want fast and quiet. Running motors, anything that makes noise draws them.

Posted by Samurai to a car guy, this comment is like putting a bullet in an infant... it's just wrong! wrong! wrong!!! ()

Like you said, the supply of gas will run out sooner or later. Even if it's not used, it will go stale and cars will run like shit. Why not drive as many awesome cars as you can while you can?

Posted by Shael Sam, hun...I can't believe you actually watched this show. I really can't. It just didn't seem like your particular type of television. Myself....fuck the vehicle. I'm more of a horse person, or a dogsled person. You'd be amazed how quiet a horse or a dogsled is, especially if you muzzle said dogs or horse. You want fast and quiet. Running motors, anything that makes noise draws them.

don't like horses.

A 650cc Dual sport motorcycle W/large capacity fuel tank, saddle bags, tank bag, tool pouch, lighting....These bikes get good fuel mileage, are dependable, have enough power to haul you and your gear, fast, powerful, nimble.

Plus the added benefit of being narrow enough to fit almost anywhere.

I have 4x4, buggied, 3wheeled, quaded for many years.........nothing can cover large areas of obstacle laden ground as quickly as a two wheeler, nothing....

The railroad track idea is good, but in the city, or someplace there will be a bus sitting on the tracks, or a stalled train someplace, or even a train wreck.

A train wreck scatters over a fairly wide area.

What about light aircraft? I mean a car guy should be able to grasp the basics pretty well. Not for everyday but to knock out large chunks of land seems to be a win win.

I had alway thought it would be good to have a nice size (stolen) sailboat anchored offshore, close enough to use a small motorboat to come ashore to resupply.

Problem, I found that since zombies are dead, there is no need to breath. They can just walk underwater albeit clumsily, and crawl up your anchor chain.....

Now all we need is a shark to bite the zombie, or vice versa. Soon the whole ocean is filled with psycho zombie fish, that we can't even eat........

Looks like we would all have to become vegetarian, to ward off being infected.

Diesel Toyota Hilux.

You can make biodiesel from zombie fat once fuel runs out.

Posted by cr400 I had alway thought it would be good to have a nice size (stolen) sailboat anchored offshore, close enough to use a small motorboat to come ashore to resupply. Problem, I found that since zombies are dead, there is no need to breath. They can just walk underwater albeit clumsily, and crawl up your anchor chain..... Now all we need is a shark to bite the zombie, or vice versa. Soon the whole ocean is filled with psycho zombie fish, that we can't even eat........ Looks like we would all have to become vegetarian, to ward off being infected.

there are a few books you should read in preparation for the zombie apocalypse... "World War Z" by Max Brooks is one.

granted, motorcycle, especially a dual-sport is an excellent way to go, but what of the humans that aren't zombies? the ones that weren't nice to begin with and now have an agenda that includes fucking anyone up that appears in their path. it would be nice to think that everyone would play nice in the best interests of preserving the species from homo necricus... but, lets assume they've got an assault rife they want to insert in an orifice of yours... well, a motorcycle may not be the best machine for the job.

I respectfully disagree......
1.

Posted by Samurai don't like horses.

^this

As far as horses go, I can't ride 50 miles on a broke leg, but I damn sure can drive that far on a flat tire/broken suspension. Plus, I can't fix a horse.