This video get at the "nice guys vs. jerks" issue - same message, just framed in black culture (and damn funny too!) So which is true, that women are stupid for wanting to date perceived bums, or the nice guy is stupid because he thinks doing everything by the book will get him laid and a relationship? Not that I have a question, just posting this for fun.

HAA FUCKIN HA!!

that was pretty good... i LOVE the computer voice... hahaahah

and yeah, they do have a point..

From a little bit of reading I've done on the subject recently, women pass up the nice guy because he's too giving/submitting, too eager to do whatever she says. He's too easy, too disinteresting. They go for the dominating macho jerk because they like his appeal, and the "challenge factor". They usually think they can change him (which ultimately is not the case, outside of extreme circumstances).

The key is somewhere in the middle: be a challenge (i.e. don't give in all the time and be her bitch) unlike the submissive nice guy, but not be a total asshole to her like the jerk (never giving in).

It's like this..

If he tries for sex on the first date, you think that he thinks your a slut.
If he doesn't, then you say he isn't any fun.

Women do the choosing, guys are fucked either way (or rather, not).

Women don't want to be seen as walking vaginas, but then they tease you as often as possible anyway; just to underscore that it is actually still there, and functional.

Either beat them at their own game, or buy a damn real-doll.

hahah maybe in some situations..
you've had some bad luck.

ahhhhhh.... life...

arent men the hunters, women the gatherers?

people bitch at you when you try to avoid animalistic instincts, then bitch at you when thats what people do, follow their animalistic instincts...

its the 3 mother fucking bitches out of the 10 girls,
its the 3 piece of shit bastards out of the 10 guys that give the whole fucking lot a shit name.

frankly, im fucking pissed at it right now.


i am truly saddened by the generally percieved rift between male and female.. once again, its the few that leave a bad taste in our mouth.. (maybe a pun intended..)

mr.fuzzy, i like what you have here...

Posted by Mr. Fuzzy From a little bit of reading I've done on the subject recently, women pass up the nice guy because he's too giving/submitting, too eager to do whatever she says. He's too easy, too disinteresting. They go for the dominating macho jerk because they like his appeal, and the "challenge factor". They usually think they can change him (which ultimately is not the case, outside of extreme circumstances). The key is somewhere in the middle: be a challenge (i.e. don't give in all the time and be her bitch) unlike the submissive nice guy, but not be a total asshole to her like the jerk (never giving in).

though, i feel that i would like to expand upon it, and so i have..

"From a little bit of reading I've done on the subject recently, women pass up the nice guy because he's too giving/submitting, too eager to do whatever she says. He's too easy, too disinteresting, because they are caught up in doing it by the book, the "right and courtly way" with flowers, and opening doors, over polite conversation, allowing her opinion to over-rule.. too quick to shower them with lovespeak, after only x dates or conversation.. not very believable.

They go for the dominating macho jerk because they like his confident, almost selfish-nature appeal, perhaps terribly honest.. (thus making a good liar as he only lies TO HER when he needs to) taking care of his wants first, showing he has a personality that will last more than a month. They see parts of him as a "challenge factor". They sometimes think they can change certain aspects of him (which ultimately is not the case, outside of extreme circumstances).

The key is somewhere in the middle: first, find a girl that is even worth your time.. then be a challenge (i.e. don't give in all the time and be her bitch) unlike the submissive nice guy, but not be a total asshole to her like the jerk (never giving in)."


trying to be dual sided here.. i dont think that any sex is superior.. both are misunderstood by the other greatly, blaming each other it seems, constantly.

something i hafta tell myself and others, BE CONFIDENT! i hate my own guts and thats not going to help me in any way whatsoever!! how the hell can anyone like me if i am unsure of myself? but i know i have that, so i can start from there.. trying to fix it. perhaps i am too straightforward with faceless strangers..

Posted by thatwhichisi The key is somewhere in the middle: first, find a girl that is even worth your time..

This is probably most important, learn to qualify potential interests so you don't waste your time.

trying to be dual sided here.. i dont think that any sex is superior.. both are misunderstood by the other greatly, blaming each other it seems, constantly.

I have to disagree... rough sex is superior. =P

So I met someone today... outdoorsy chick, gorgeous, very fit, owns a photography and graphical design business... we really hit it off. I might even have to take back what I said about women in general now. D'oh!

Posted by Therrin women in general

Aw, don't ever use that phrase, and try to avoid that frame of mind. Same goes for women when referring to men.

It's cynical, not logical. You may not meet your ideal, but you'll always meet people who defy your negative expectations.

Posted by thatwhichisi ahhhhhh.... life... arent men the hunters, women the gatherers? people bitch at you when you try to avoid animalistic instincts, then bitch at you when thats what people do, follow their animalistic instincts... its the 3 mother fucking bitches out of the 10 girls, its the 3 piece of shit bastards out of the 10 guys that give the whole fucking lot a shit name. frankly, im fucking pissed at it right now. i am truly saddened by the generally percieved rift between male and female.. once again, its the few that leave a bad taste in our mouth.. (maybe a pun intended..) mr.fuzzy, i like what you have here... though, i feel that i would like to expand upon it, and so i have.. "From a little bit of reading I've done on the subject recently, women pass up the nice guy because he's too giving/submitting, too eager to do whatever she says. He's too easy, too disinteresting, because they are caught up in doing it by the book, the "right and courtly way" with flowers, and opening doors, over polite conversation, allowing her opinion to over-rule.. too quick to shower them with lovespeak, after only x dates or conversation.. not very believable. They go for the dominating macho jerk because they like his confident, almost selfish-nature appeal, perhaps terribly honest.. (thus making a good liar as he only lies TO HER when he needs to) taking care of his wants first, showing he has a personality that will last more than a month. They see parts of him as a "challenge factor". They sometimes think they can change certain aspects of him (which ultimately is not the case, outside of extreme circumstances). The key is somewhere in the middle: first, find a girl that is even worth your time.. then be a challenge (i.e. don't give in all the time and be her bitch) unlike the submissive nice guy, but not be a total asshole to her like the jerk (never giving in)." trying to be dual sided here.. i dont think that any sex is superior.. both are misunderstood by the other greatly, blaming each other it seems, constantly. something i hafta tell myself and others, BE CONFIDENT! i hate my own guts and thats not going to help me in any way whatsoever!! how the hell can anyone like me if i am unsure of myself? but i know i have that, so i can start from there.. trying to fix it. perhaps i am too straightforward with faceless strangers..

Tl; dr women want me.

Posted by aurelie Aw, don't ever use that phrase, and try to avoid that frame of mind. Same goes for women when referring to men. It's cynical, not logical. You may not meet your ideal, but you'll always meet people who defy your negative expectations.

Orly-san, stereotypes are created by experience, based on analysis of groups of people. Someone earlier said the 3 out of 10 ruin it for everyone, but I think it's more like 8 or 9 out of 10.

Only every once in a while someone comes along, and you're like "whooaaaaaa.... but she's so awesome and not like the others".

I don't just want to meet people who defy my negative expectation, I want to meet people who surpass my positive expectations.

http://netforbegin...-abbreviations.htm
hahah had to use this to figure what the fuck tl;dr meant..


and wow kid, you sure know how to pick some shitttty girls then. unless i am just that fucking special. .....
....
.........
nah, maybe its you..

or... maybe its true that no one gives a shit about anyone else but themselves. that is a stereotype that is mostly learned from experience.

I guess I don't fit in to this stereotype. Guys like the "gangster" immediately turn me off. I avoid men, and people, like that at all costs. I really do love finding nice guys. Every man I have ever dated has been the nice, quiet type, and that is the kind of person I best get along with.

and wow kid, you sure know how to pick some shitttty girls then. unless i am just that fucking special. .....

LoL, I'm prolly old enough to be your grandfather.

It's not about "picking shitty girls", you make it sound like you go to the store and find them on the shelf or something. It's takes time to get to know people.
And some, you learn aren't the kind of people you want to stay connected to. (or they think the same about you).



I like that Neptune can appreciate the guys who aren't always hosing down the decks with testosterone. Not all guys who aren't total players and assholes are just automatically doormats.

I think Aurobot was right that we shouldn't just automatically lump people into categories, it's just difficult not to sometimes. Once you get jaded it's hard to see people in general through rosey colored glasses.

Till someone pops into your life unexpectedly and turns that all around. =)

but thats what im saying!! and i hope you mean that..
are you 60? heh. way to keep up exploring! (i mean that)
yeah, you may be older, and that may be part of the jaded problem. im not trying to be an asshole. i only say that because i consider 'adult' to be a four letter word. "STEREOtypically" speaking, havent you noticed that it seems the older alot of people get, the more entitled to things people think that they are? the more 'tantrums' they throw when things dont go their way? the more blame they insinuate toward the supposed offending party? the less open minded to differing opinion they are, content to continue their mental comfort routine, and the less likely they are to actually try new things..
not ALL, of course.
but repeating learned patterns..
i never want to be that.
but i think that it is quite IMPOSSIBLE for the largest majority on this planet of normal, non-power wielding humans to strictly be out to be terrible people.. (though some exist) i think that most people just want to be happy. and, selfishness being a human trait, people selfishly and unselfishly try to make others happy to get positive response back towards them, so they can be happy.
im jaded as fuck too, to tell you the truth. (note extreme hate i revealed in previous reply) but thank goodness i have some intelligent recognition of myself being the one holding myself from evolving. (some dont, im friends with some.)
in every single dating or interested in dating situation i have ever been in, i always ended up choosing the person that was not good for me. people who were not willing to give a fuck, to learn with, who didnt strive for life, etc. thinking that people are generally out to fuck someone over is very jaded, yeah. sometimes having such a thought pattern, you can miss a good opportunity and not even know it.
im lucky as heck to have literally found, in an abandonment, the wonderful male i am with now. and i also recognize that if it doesnt work out in the end, it was not because hes terrible. people sadly change and grow in different directions sometimes.
i hope that these peoples opinions on this board are altering your reality a little bit.. i know i learn from here. but from myself, trying to continue education in these and other matters, as well.

Im suprised the fem nazi's havent ripped this thread apart yet. I find just being yourself works best. woman aren't stupid and can usually see right through an act. Im naturely emotionally distant with woman until i know them well enough. So i find it easier to be myself and joke around and have a good time. I wont instigate sex until we've been dating for a couple of weeks. I'll kiss and make out blah blah blah but thats the far i'll go until i know what kind of person you are.

On the other hand if she instigates it i won't turn it down. But if its like the first date don't expect a future with me lol. if a girl will have sex on the first date she probably isn't a keeper.

Posted by compaq12986 But if its like the first date don't expect a future with me lol. if a girl will have sex on the first date she probably isn't a keeper.

I learned that. I had a gf where we had sex within a 2 hours of meeting in person. I found out after we broke up she had sex with my friend and suspected her of sleeping with one of her friends.

Women want head scratchies. Sometimes.

I'm with Orly, "[group] in general" is a bad thought to have.

Posted by compaq12986 Im suprised the fem nazi's blah blah blah I don't like grammar or punctuation or proper spelling.

Personally, I'd never get into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.