Funny stuff! Some pretty weird, strange and funny things can happen when you're exploring a drain. Here's just a few things you might like to laugh over.10th June 1998.

Grilles

One of the more fun things to do in a drain is to yell up at the people you might see above through pipes, grilles and manholes etc. I know it may sound childish, even immature but hey, it is fun! There are some particularly good places to do this. Dodgy Deals in Maze is a particular good place as it's right on a busy road so you can yell away to your heart's content. The problem is that you can't see out much.

The Grille in Dungeon is another particularly good spot as the grille is huge, allowing you to get a good view out. There is almost always some kids up in the park above worth scaring.

Below are a couple of links to amusing events that involved giving a few tin lids nightmares.

The marble eyed Monster - This amusing incident took place in Maze.

Cat and Dog - Another Park adventure!

Popping manholes

Entering and exiting drains can also be a lot of fun, provided you be careful of course. It's just not something a lot of people expect to see every day. The stunned looks on people's faces as a group of young people pop out of a manhole is great to see.

One of the most amusing drain pops that I did was exiting Bob's Tomb right out of the front of Crown Casino in UA City. I was with a large group of people and was one of the last to pop out. Up we came, crawling out of the gutterbox into the street. There was a couple of guys sitting at a red light on the corner staring goggle eyed and open mouthed at us. Then the passenger started grinning and giving us the thumbs up. As we poured out and closed the gutterbox a whole pile of grinning and laughing drain explorers milled around. The guys in the car got their green light and drove off waving.

Across the road in front of the casino, a chap in full coat tails and top hat uniform tried to pretend we didn't exist after staring at us for a few seconds with a 'what the heck?' look.

On one occasion while exploring Great Stairway we exited the tunnel through a manhole in somebody's driveway. It was fun to see the expression on the faces of the family as they looked through their living room window to see five rather dirty and tiered drain explorers pop out of the ground right in front of them. It is also fun to see the double take on the faces of drivers as they drive past you when you are doing this. One moment they are driving along in their boring old lives and the next; "Hey, what the..?" More about this..

Then there is the exits from GOD. These exit into the median strip right in the middle of a busy road. I once had occasion to pop out here in peak hour traffic with about twelve other people. This was very amusing indeed as bemused motorists looked on. I noticed a few kids waving from their parent's car only to see the parents rebuke them. The kids kept grinning like mad though.

Perhaps the most amusing exit from a drain was from a manhole in Slide on Christmas eve. After doing many drains this day Emor and I decided that it would be easiest to pop out of a manhole instead of walking back along this steep sided drain. We spotted one in the roof of the weird section with ledges either side of the drain.

I climbed up on the side of the drain ledge, turned around and with some difficulty reached up to slide the light concrete drain cover off of the drain. I pushed away and slid the cover off. But getting out was not that easy. I could just about see out of the drain but there was no where to grip. I exchanged places with Emor who was able to jump out with a boost from me. Giving me a hand out I emerged to see an urbanite peering down at me and chatting to Emor. We said hello to him and his kids playing in the park before replacing the manhole cover.

With a casual air of indifference as though this was what we did every day we wandered off up the street with a wave god bye. We only got a few paces before we packed up with laughter. The look on the fella's face when he peered down the drain at us. A sort of mix between concern, indifference and a 'how many more of you are there?' look. And on Christmas eve too. At least the kids would have something for show and tell next year.

Met up with ID and Emor to do Albert Park. Off we trooped, and stooped down the drain to the tunnel. We crawled up the side pipe and peered out the overflow. Work was well in advance on the site, with cars, vans and trucks driving all over of the place so we sat in the drain and enjoyed the view.

We tried to temp a few ducks within our grasp as a way to pass the time but they weren't having bar of it. Finally a ute with a search light on top cruised on down the lake shore, shining it's light right at us so we nicked off back down the drain.

Wandering what to do next, we shot off to Anzac to try the Toorak Road entrance. Into the drain we popped and wandered in right in front of a few pedestrians who pretty much ignored us. Phew! That side pipe stinks! We wandered about during which Id managed to create a wonderful reverberating 'gong!' noise when he bumped his head, then moments later while laughing at Emor almost slipping over he went for a six himself and we all packed out laughing as he fell over. Not to outdone, I managed to bump my head on the Toorak girders - again!

So we headed up to the bluestone section to exit. We found the exit and Emor did the honors. There he was trying to lift the manhole. ' Just flip it.' I suggest. He tried, but was unsuccessful so he heaved the thing up and then said 'Shit!' Just above us was the underside of a car. We watched in amazement as the car moved forward. I almost bailed as thoughts of tire in the drain worried me, but you could tell it was the center of the car. The night sky was soon seen so the rather brave Emor popped out of the drain, soon followed by Id and myself.

There we were, standing on the road with this blue Falcon parked right on the exit. I shoved the manhole back while Emor waved a friendly greeting at the petrified motorist. Giggling away to ourselves we nicked off down the street.

I can just imagine the thoughts that must have gone through the guy. I mean there he was, sitting in his car, minding his own business when he hears this tapping on the bottom of his car! Then he must have heard our voices so that caused him to drive forward. Now put yourself in the mind set of someone who has never thought of drain exploring when you consider what happened next; three rather dirty dudes pop up out of the ground behind your car and one of them comes around and looks at you and then waves. What the hell!? I bet he was locking the doors and looking for the club lock, scared shitless. Oh no, he's menacing me with his fist!, or is that a wave? Well, he didn't wave back that's for sure.

I mean the guy's probably never going to look at a manhole the same way again. I don't think he'll ever be parking on one again. I bet he was sitting there thinking: 'What the f%&k!!'. Then later thinking; Should I tell the wife this or not? She'll never believe me. I mean; 'Honey, you'll never believe what happened tonight...' He'd be at some party and be able to spin a good yarn; 'Well there I was parked when I heard a tapping on the bottom of my car........ and then these three crazy looking people popped out of the ground!' They'd probably think he had too much to drink.

We drove past a few minutes later and the car was there but the driver was gone, probably off to get a stiff drink. I can imagine the bartender's response: 'Now that's something you don't see every day'.

Slip sliding away

Well, this is fun, though not normally when it happens to you. One moment you're walking along and the next moment you're wondering how you managed to be lying face down in the water. 'Oh, how is it that I've managed to end up with my feet on top of my head?'

One of the most classic slip ups I ever saw was when I took Emor to the end of Dungeon to see the wall. The mummy sections of this drain are particularly slippery and as Emor was trying to keep his shoes dry he walked along in his socks. He did a few slips but the classic was one moment I heard a crash, followed by a splash. I turned around to see Emor lying face down in the water and not moving. Thoughts of having to drag his limp body out of the drain rushed through my head. Then I heard a giggle.

" Are you okay?" I asked.
" Yeah. I'm just lying here." He replied, or something to that effect as he burst out laughing.

Of course he got his own back. One night as we walked down Anzac I slipped over and Emor turned around to see where I was. He had to look down on the ground to see where I had got to.

One of the best slips I ever saw was one that Emor did while we were exploring Underpass in Springvale. At the end of this drain there is a big pit with a slippery angled floor. This drains into a small half meter RCP which you wouldn't like to fall into.

Arriving at this pit we debated if we should go back the way we had come, or if we should continue on down through the pit. None of us were eager to fall down the little side pipe or for that matter to get wet. I figured that I didn't want to bother going back so I volunteered to go first. I stepped on a little outcropping and slowly eased my way down the slippery slide. Making it safely I grabbed the grille to steady myself then turned to see Id make his way down the slope. Id managed the obstacle with decorum and stepped down to the bottom.

Next it was Emor's turn. Poor Emor got into trouble almost straight away. He seemed to realise he was slipping and tried to turn around. In slow motion I will describe what happened next. Emor turns and begins to slip. Emor falls over into the water and slides down the slope much in the same manner as a beached whale. I realise that if Emor is going to go down the little drain he will take me with him. Emor grabs at Id's legs, flails past and grabs for my legs. I avoid falling over by stepping out of the way, leaving Emor to his fate. Emor slides to a stop, is silent for a moment then we all burst out laughing. You had to be there.

Candle lit tours

One of the most pleasant things to do in a drain is walking it by candle light. This should be done only in drains that are well ventilated. Placing a candle in a small container which floats (such as an spray can lid) you can float the candle down the drain. In most drains the candle will move downstream at slightly less than walking pace. It will generally let off more than enough light to walk by. It's quite a nice effect. The best drains to do this in would be big ones like Dungeon, Maze, Mini-Tenth, Tenth and Anzac.