Boyfriend told me today we hangout to much, and he wants to take a break. But he wants to hangout just as friends to see if he misses me or not. and if he does miss me we will end up going back out but if not it's over. What should i do. i have no idea how to treat this situation. Do i act like a friend, distance myself, D:

Distance. He should man up and just break it off instead taking the wienie way out by saying "take a break" and "stay friends. He wants to check the waters but keep you on the dock in case the he sinks. (grrr)

Two can play that game ill be keeping an eye out too then :3

I'd have to echo what Opheliaism said.

Posted by Wiccan I'd have to echo what Opheliaism said.

I agree with them.

tell him he doesn't have to worry about deciding if he misses you or not, because you've already made up your mind to move on.

sounds to me like he's playing games and acting like a child. leave him behind.

If you feel that you can't accommodate this, be honest and tell him that it's over if you can't be together the way you are now. If thats the end, thats the way it was supposed to be.

Posted by Opheliaism Distance. He should man up and just break it off instead taking the wienie way out by saying "take a break" and "stay friends. He wants to check the waters but keep you on the dock in case the he sinks. (grrr)

well put.
i agree. drop him. find a better b/f (they are out there. dont go hunting- they happen when you dont look for them!

Posted by victoria- Boyfriend told me today we hangout to much, and he wants to take a break. But he wants to hangout just as friends to see if he misses me or not. and if he does miss me we will end up going back out but if not it's over. What should i do. i have no idea how to treat this situation. Do i act like a friend, distance myself, D:

how is he going to miss you if you keep hanging out?

break up with him before he breaks up with you, so at the very least you know you didn't leave the ball in his court, allowing him to play his little games and be in charge your future.

edit: how long have you guys been together?

There's two realities to this situation

- theres a problem he has with you (either something that you do/did or that he did) but he doesn't have the courage to tell you so he figures "being apart" will fix it or just make it go away for a bit

- he wants to get out of the relationship but doesn't want to deal with dumping you.

most likely one of those two, they're kind of the same thing except in one of them he doesn't know that he actually intends to get out of the relationship/that it's the right thing to do. in either case, you need to articulate your feelings and act on them.

I sounds to me like he wants to break up with you, but is scared of being alone... and as a result, he's trying to play games with your heart.

Screw him. There are better guys out there.

Posted by olive how is he going to miss you if you keep hanging out? break up with him before he breaks up with you, so at the very least you know you didn't leave the ball in his court, allowing him to play his little games and be in charge your future. edit: how long have you guys been together?

about 8 months

I just hate being single :C

I think Hanlon's Razor would apply here, and you should assume it's being done out of naivete, and that he really doesn't know whether he likes having a gf or not. I didn't even start to understand what I wanted till I was 19.

Internally, distance yourself emotionally, externally, hang out for his sake, and perhaps the relationships.

Posted by victoria- I just hate being single :C

I know the feeling, but it's something with which you need to learn how to deal. It's not worth being with someone just because you feel lonely. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to you.

Distance yourself. Sounds like he wants to bail but doesn't want to be alone in case he doesn't find someone else. Don't be the 'auxillary lover' for him. Do yourself a huge favour and walk away.

tanks guy. i'm going to talk to him today to see whats going to happen in the future. ill keep you updated lol

So we met up today, and we decided where not going to break up but spend less time together in a whole. Like maybe once or twice every few weeks. I'm happy with it aslong as i can stay with him. I'm staying at his house tonight so, sofar im happy.

Posted by victoria- I just hate being single :C

I hate this line. It says so much about you. I can relate -- a few years ago, I was barely single for a couple of months in-between relationships. After a very nasty break-up with a very nasty gentleman (oxymoron?), I was reading a book written by a Buddhist nun.

She addressed the concept of loneliness, and how we tend to hate it. But she asked the question, "How can you expect someone else to be alone with you, if you can't even be alone with yourself?"

She was totally right. I spent six months in an apartment on my own, promised myself not to seriously date anyone during that time, and I ended up lasting about two years (I dated around a bit, but didn't really find anyone I was interested enough in to start a relationship with). I worked a lot on myself during that time. It didn't mean that I turned into an introvert, but quite simply that I learned enough about myself to be happy and secure without an intimate relationship.

You're 17, right? Think about YOU five years ago and how different you were, then. And now think about how different you and things will be in five years. You'll do and experience so much greater things in life than this relationship with this one guy. It isn't worth dragging it out; it isn't worth the extra pain. I'm glad that you're happy now but please seriously consider the loneliness concept, above.



_{Note: To those to that know me: STFU.}

im 38, ive had 3 great loves in my life (on my 4th now!!!!!). at 17 i had no clue. i dont think you do... but its the ones now and the life lessons you learn today that will shape who you will be later in life.


















life i have found is hard, wear a fucking helmet and imho he is stringing you along.
cdevon1200