Posted by Skold Okay I have the ultimate solution: Rebound with Joe!

I like how you think. Hes definitly sexy. Well This weekend I'll decide and I'll definitly know by monday.

Posted by victoria- I like how you think. Hes definitly sexy. Well This weekend I'll decide and I'll definitly know by monday.

Not... A healthy choice. Nobody is worth dropping half the human race for. Especially not a dick. If you're going after the friend for sex, do the both of you a favor and define the relationship.

Since you're ruled by immediate emotions, let's say you two fuck. Unless you two can agree and run a relationship, you'll lose the friendship. Fuck buddies, get serious, or friends. It's tricky to switch things up without internal (knowing and doing what you want and need) and external communication skills that you seem to lack. Don't hurt the boy looking for a place to run from yourself if you can't be you, you can't be part of a 'we.'

Don't chase anybody for anything, period. At least for a while.

Somebody always gets hurt in a rebound situation and there are some people that just don't deserve getting hurt that way.

I'm struggling with something myself right now too, it's taking everything I have to keep from chasing someone to fill the hole that's there, so I throw myself into my job. What's worse is I work with the guy. We've worked together for almost 5 years.

I'm struggling against it because I don't want to ruin a friendship and I don't want to ruin my working relationship with him for just a good lay, which I sorely need. I care about him a lot more than I probably should and I don't want or need to get hurt or hurt someone else in the process just because of something so trivial.

About all I can say is just back off. Don't jump into anything. If something develops, then analyze it and if it feels right, run with it, but be careful. Somebody will get hurt if you aren't.

I have a series of rules I live by, and I'd break them all just for this one person and be breaking them all for this one person...but I keep thinking of it this way, what if I ruin something that's taken an extremely long time to build? I can't afford that and I won't let that happen.

So, look before you leap.

Posted by Skold Dude you called her retarded.

No, I asked her if she was. Because she was being stupid. And she knows that. And I am sure she has come to expect honesty from me. Lying to a friend to make them feel better won't help them. It's just destructive to lie like that. I call my friends on it when they are being ridiculous, with the hopes that hearing it in blunt terms will open their eyes.

Friends don't lie to you or stab you in the back because it's easier.

Would you not show the same honesty to your friends?


Now, victoria, why does he want you to cut contact with this guy?

Also this request seems a little amusing after he just promised things would change. You aren't stupid, so I know you can see the bull he is pulling.

Posted by Shael Don't chase anybody for anything, period. At least for a while. Somebody always gets hurt in a rebound situation and there are some people that just don't deserve getting hurt that way. I'm struggling with something myself right now too, it's taking everything I have to keep from chasing someone to fill the hole that's there, so I throw myself into my job. What's worse is I work with the guy. We've worked together for almost 5 years. I'm struggling against it because I don't want to ruin a friendship and I don't want to ruin my working relationship with him for just a good lay, which I sorely need. I care about him a lot more than I probably should and I don't want or need to get hurt or hurt someone else in the process just because of something so trivial. About all I can say is just back off. Don't jump into anything. If something develops, then analyze it and if it feels right, run with it, but be careful. Somebody will get hurt if you aren't. I have a series of rules I live by, and I'd break them all just for this one person and be breaking them all for this one person...but I keep thinking of it this way, what if I ruin something that's taken an extremely long time to build? I can't afford that and I won't let that happen. So, look before you leap.

I have to agree with this. I used to do that whole rebound thing. Never brought me anything but heartbreak in the end. I was really stupid to have ever done it. It's a habit I broke because of that. Rebound never brings happiness to any ofthe parties involved.

Posted by Dresden Now, victoria, why does he want you to cut contact with this guy? Also this request seems a little amusing after he just promised things would change. You aren't stupid, so I know you can see the bull he is pulling.

Hes a jealous guy and in his last relationship things were bad. she cheated on him A LOT. And I'd love for Robbie and I to work. Out of all the bad hes a really amazing guy but we just can't work together and it really sucks. I think what I'm going to do is. Leave Robbie and be friends with Joe and see where it goes. I'm not one for rebounds because I've been hurt a lot by shit like that.
I'm just very confused. Honestly I only just broke into the "dating scene" with Robbie. I dated before when i was 14 but I didn't really have a "relationship". This is all completely new to me. I'll work it out though. Youve all helped me a tremendous amount.

I'm glad you decided not to rebound. I've found that often the rebound guy gets used as a tool to piss off the ex. The ex will try everything to get you back, and even it it works, it ends miserably eventually.

In my case...I honestly have feelings for the guy I work with. I have for a while, probably longer than I was with Sam.

I've already come to the conclusion that I really don't want Sam back, as much as I still care about him, I don't want it back.

My situation is just excruciatingly complicated. It breaks a few rules I try to live by, simple ones, but ones that actually sometimes work.

My biggest rules are:

1) Age difference of no more than 10 years. He breaks that rule because he's 18 years older than I am.

2) No married men. He's married but in an awful marriage.

3) No dating people you work with. I work with him and have for nearly 5 years.

What's crazy is he's everything Sam isn't. He's always been there when I needed him, he's always been willing to listen and one of the first people I call when I need help.

The only thing saving me from the entire thing is he doesn't have any idea how I feel. So, that's a big plus right now and I fully intend to never tell him because of those rules. I also have no clue as to how he feels about me and I fully intend to never ask.

Eventually I'll get over it, but I'll trip over tongue and myself until then.

Posted by victoria- Raight now hes saying ither choose your friend Joe or me.

When people say that to me i always choose the other person. Even if i don't like them.


Rebounds are great for getting over things, bad for starting a relationship. So if you want something real w/ robbie, don't rebound on him. If you just want to get over (i forget douchebag's name), rebound away. Maybe a few times!

Posted by victoria- Hes a jealous guy and in his last relationship things were bad. she cheated on him A LOT. And I'd love for Robbie and I to work. Out of all the bad hes a really amazing guy but we just can't work together and it really sucks. I think what I'm going to do is. Leave Robbie and be friends with Joe and see where it goes. I'm not one for rebounds because I've been hurt a lot by shit like that. I'm just very confused. Honestly I only just broke into the "dating scene" with Robbie. I dated before when i was 14 but I didn't really have a "relationship". This is all completely new to me. I'll work it out though. Youve all helped me a tremendous amount.

He really doesn't sound like an amazing guy. He sounds like an insecure twat.

My two cents.

So yeah, permanently ended it with Robbie and I feel good. I'm out having fun now!

Posted by victoria- So yeah, permanently ended it with Robbie and I feel good. I'm out having fun now!

...until the next time that you consider getting back together with him.

well i wont dismiss it completely but im fairly certain that was it. I don't want to put him through that again. Plus this time around I'm having so much fun sofar

Posted by victoria- well i wont dismiss it completely but im fairly certain that was it. I don't want to put him through that again. Plus this time around I'm having so much fun sofar

Pfffft! Him?! HA!

What about you???

Don't worry about what's best for him. Worry about yourself. He's already proven that he's not too concerned with what will make you happy. Why should you care what makes him happy?

Tell him he turned you gay or something (or not, but it's a funny idea lol).

Then go out and enjoy yourself more : )

Posted by Dresden Pfffft! Him?! HA! What about you??? Don't worry about what's best for him. Worry about yourself. He's already proven that he's not too concerned with what will make you happy. Why should you care what makes him happy? Tell him he turned you gay or something (or not, but it's a funny idea lol). Then go out and enjoy yourself more : )

How I did it was "It's not fair for me to be with you and be so confused all the time. I need time to re-evaluate my life. It's not you. It's me" He cried. It was sad. kinda pathetic... Duhno. I don't feel half as bad this time around.

Posted by dirt He really doesn't sound like an amazing guy. He sounds like an insecure twat. My two cents.

I agree 100%

Well i saw Robbie today. hes moping around. My feelings are gone. I don't feel bad, sad or anything. I'm just excited so many doors just opend up for me.

Posted by victoria- Well i saw Robbie today. hes moping around. My feelings are gone. I don't feel bad, sad or anything. I'm just excited so many doors just opend up for me.

yay .. again.
Stick with it this time

Joe is comming over this weekend :3

Posted by victoria- I'm preggo :3

Hurry everyone summon the care-bear stare before I have time to respond!!!