this thread should be locked, based on the OP's troll behaviour in the other FM-only thread.

Posted by steponmebbbboom this thread should be locked, based on the OP's troll behaviour in the other FM-only thread.

whoops, didn't even think about the fact that its fm only before i posted it, sorry!

This "relationship" of hers is a train wreck waiting to happen..

Kinda sad- from what I gather talking to her and others, she keeps getting the same advice, she just won't use it.


ugh.

I fail to see how she is a troll.

Being a stupid kid does not make you a troll.

And victoria, if you have a problem with me calling you a stupid kid, then grow up. Jealousy happens, but this guy doesn't just seem jealous, he seems to want to keep you under lock and key. You think that bending over backwards to enable this behavior is a mature and reasonable solution? It's not.

When I go exploring with men, my boyfriend is more worried I'm going to fall off of something and die. Because I have a habit of getting to the highest point I can. And that's a reasonable fear. But he never stops me. And I'm more careful because I respect him and how he feels, and he knows this. And so there is no problem.

What is your boyfriend afraid of? It seems like anything that involves you having a life outside of him. And it would seem he doesn't give a damn what you want.

A bit of jealousy is alright, sometimes even flattering, but not like this. This, combined with the other things you have been telling us, lead me to believe you are in a very sick and poisonous relationship.

Are you going to do anything about it? Or just keep asking for our help and then not listening?

Because I can hold my hand out to the drowning all I want, and it makes no bit of difference unless they take hold of it and pull themselves out.

You're drowning.

If I went exploring with other men I'd want my boyfriend to be the eensy teeniest tiniest bit jealous. But I think most girls are like that. (like dres said)
Not to the point where he wouldn't "let" me go..like a guy should be able to stop you from doing what you want in a relationship as long as it's not hurting anybody.

Also, tnx for the link Olive. Anybody who bitches about not being able to see links and saying the thread should be closed due to it should stfu and wait for the damn fm like the rest of us did. The thread doesn't revolve around you, if you don't like it go start your own one. Cry baby. They were nice enough to cut/paste parts of it for you.

As for that thread, if I was a 17 year old girl going exploring with a group of people I met online for the first time they'd damn well be women. Especially draining. >> << >> bad things happen in drains.
;)

I agree, she's not being a troll here, just a teenager.

To Victoria, I have to ask: does this mean that he doesn't want you hanging out with male friends while he's not there, or does it only apply to strangers? Most of my current friends are male, and I met quite a few of them via UER.

Actually, the first time I met people from UER, I was a seventeen year old girl meeting up with a bunch of strange men to go in a drain.

Posted by Dresden Being a stupid kid does not make you a troll. <snip> Are you going to do anything about it? Or just keep asking for our help and then not listening?

Sounds like a troll to me!

Posted by Yield Anybody who bitches about not being able to see links and saying the thread should be closed due to it should stfu and wait for the damn fm like the rest of us did. The thread doesn't revolve around you, if you don't like it go start your own one. Cry baby. They were nice enough to cut/paste parts of it for you.

LOL, I never bitched about the FM thread or asked for it to be locked because i couldnt see it, I asked nicely for the coles notes and I got them. (thanks, BTW.) If I wanted FM status I would ask for it, but <snip> I havent bothered.

Try paying attention to what I said before putting me on blast.

Posted by Yield I agree, she's not being a troll here, just a teenager. <snip> Actually, the first time I met people from UER, I was a seventeen year old girl

You were either nothing like victoria at seventeen or youve smartened up fast. In any case, we've been beating victoria over the head with this particular clue-by-four for over four pages now, and judging by your snips of the FM thread, she learned nothing. Does anyone think another four pages or even four posts are going to accomplish anything? It's either going to go on and on for twelve pages that look exactly like the first four, or degrade into a flame war. Fine, Dont lock it! Waste all the time you want in here youll only prove me right.

_{edit: FM-only snip}

What it all comes down to is letting her learn for herself through her own experiences and choices. Sure, we can advise her on what may be best based on our past experiences and what we think. We can debate about it until the cows come home (or some other equally lame catch phrase for a long time), but in the end she's the one that has to make her own life choices; we can only sit on the sidelines and hope she'll make the right ones.

Sometimes a person won't make the right choices; by making the wrong ones a person can learn from them and make more informed ones in the future.

This is the relationships board, not the 'is soandso a troll' board.

Everyone has been a stupid kid at some point, and if you claim you never were you are dishonest to yourself.

So let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

And if no perfect specimen can step forward and condemn the girl, let's just carry on with the topic and not get so side tracked.

Also snipping out bits of posts removes essential information and makes it seem like something it is not, so please stop, as from my point of view it feels like words are being put in my mouth.

Topic, back on it now pls.

Victoria, other than that troll discussion (which we should probably all ignore at this point, as it deters from the main issue), what are your thoughts on this all?

Posted by Dresden This is the relationships board, not the 'is soandso a troll' board. Everyone has been a stupid kid at some point, and if you claim you never were you are dishonest to yourself. So let he who is without sin cast the first stone. And if no perfect specimen can step forward and condemn the girl, let's just carry on with the topic and not get so side tracked. Also snipping out bits of posts removes essential information and makes it seem like something it is not, so please stop, as from my point of view it feels like words are being put in my mouth. Topic, back on it now pls. Victoria, other than that troll discussion (which we should probably all ignore at this point, as it deters from the main issue), what are your thoughts on this all?

This is why I love you.

Just sayin'.

Posted by aurelie I agree, she's not being a troll here, just a teenager. To Victoria, I have to ask: does this mean that he doesn't want you hanging out with male friends while he's not there, or does it only apply to strangers? Most of my current friends are male, and I met quite a few of them via UER. Actually, the first time I met people from UER, I was a seventeen year old girl meeting up with a bunch of strange men to go in a drain.

I pretty much only have male friends and hes fine with them. Its jsut the strangers. i can see why hes insecure about it because his ex of 2 years fucked him over hard with cheating.

Posted by Dresden Victoria, other than that troll discussion (which we should probably all ignore at this point, as it deters from the main issue), what are your thoughts on this all?

my thoughts on the situation as a whole is hes bad news and bad for me. and i have taken what everyones written here into consideration and its helped me a hell of a lot. I will most likely leave him soon. im just bad a breakups.

Posted by steponmebbbboom Sounds like a troll to me!

what is your problem with me. take up the fm bullshit with the mod that gave it to me. just because you havnt gotten it yett dosnt mean you need to follow me around uer bitching.

Posted by Dresden I fail to see how she is a troll. Being a stupid kid does not make you a troll. And victoria, if you have a problem with me calling you a stupid kid, then grow up. Jealousy happens, but this guy doesn't just seem jealous, he seems to want to keep you under lock and key. You think that bending over backwards to enable this behavior is a mature and reasonable solution? It's not. When I go exploring with men, my boyfriend is more worried I'm going to fall off of something and die. Because I have a habit of getting to the highest point I can. And that's a reasonable fear. But he never stops me. And I'm more careful because I respect him and how he feels, and he knows this. And so there is no problem. What is your boyfriend afraid of? It seems like anything that involves you having a life outside of him. And it would seem he doesn't give a damn what you want. A bit of jealousy is alright, sometimes even flattering, but not like this. This, combined with the other things you have been telling us, lead me to believe you are in a very sick and poisonous relationship. Are you going to do anything about it? Or just keep asking for our help and then not listening? Because I can hold my hand out to the drowning all I want, and it makes no bit of difference unless they take hold of it and pull themselves out. You're drowning.

i quite agree im a stupid kid. I am going to get out of this relationship! i think its time to pull the plug on this one. I just have to think of a way to do it.

Posted by victoria- I am going to get out of this relationship! i think its time to pull the plug on this one. I just have to think of a way to do it.

YYYAAAAAAAAYYYY!!

How to do it? Just tell him that it's not working out and you don't want to be with him anymore. Teenage relationships end all the time. Often for little reason at all. Not like you were with the guy for 6 years.

Posted by Oryx YYYAAAAAAAAYYYY!! How to do it? Just tell him that it's not working out and you don't want to be with him anymore. Teenage relationships end all the time. Often for little reason at all. Not like you were with the guy for 6 years.

I like the "I just can't be in a relationship right now, I need some time to figure out who I am on my own before I can know myself as part of a couple" approach. As long as you don't go date someone else the next week, it's nobody's fault, and nobody can argue with you wanting to know you.

Posted by MindHacker I like the "I just can't be in a relationship right now, I need some time to figure out who I am on my own before I can know myself as part of a couple" approach. As long as you don't go date someone else the next week, it's nobody's fault, and nobody can argue with you wanting to know you.

I guess that would work with most people, but I think her bf needs an extremely simple reason.

Posted by Oryx I guess that would work with most people, but I think her bf needs an extremely simple reason.

The truth, don't sugar coat it: a straight up answer is better for both than lies or half truisms.

I think i'll tell him he treats me like crap and i'm not happy. i havnt talked to him in 4 days and i called him tonight and he already managed to make me angry. im very unsympathetic towards him.

Posted by victoria- I think i'll tell him he treats me like crap and i'm not happy. i havnt talked to him in 4 days and i called him tonight and he already managed to make me angry. im very unsympathetic towards him.

Exactly! I'm glad you are coming to see things for what they are and realizing that you are better than all of his neglect and imprudence.

: )

Posted by Dresden Exactly! I'm glad you are coming to see things for what they are and realizing that you are better than all of his neglect and imprudence. : )

thankyou very much dresden and yes im definitely going to leave him. no more pussyfooting :3