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budda
Location: Cincinnati Gender: Male Total Likes: 181 likes
I love it when you call me Big Poppa
| | | | Re: Those Everyday Things That Piss You Off... Part Two < Reply # 671 on 5/20/2013 6:42 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Posted by jeepdave Yeah. Found out a good friend has cancer a week ago, found out my dad has lung cancer Friday. Looks like best case is they will be removing his lung next week. I'm still trying not to think about worst case.
| Damn that sucks. I just lost my dad to lung cancer on April 22. Unfortunately, it was by far the worst case. It happened right in front of me and it was the most fucked up and horrifying thing I could imagine. I'm still having trouble sleeping and will probably never forget it. So I definitely sympathize. I've seen some shit. Feel free to pm or call or something if you need anyone to vent to. It seems to help. ***Graphic. Like seriously possibly the most fucked up shit you'll read today. Don't read if sensitive to that shit.*** I had No idea he was close to the end. I had went out of town to mamu 5. A half hour after I got home, he went to the bathroom for like 20 minutes or so, came out, and called for help. He was projectile puking blood and coughing up lung pieces and couldn't stop. I woke up my mom and called 911 and handed her the phone. Went back to him as he collapsed into the trashcan. I tried to wake him but there was no response. There was blood everywhere and I could see a big chunk of obviously lung on the ground next to the trash can I rushed outside and grabbed my flashlight to flag down the ambulance, and was in the room as they put him on the stretcher. There was just blood fucking everywhere. He just had this blank stare. Naturally in a panic I said all I could think. "Help's here you're gonna be alright!" but he didn't respond at all. Didn't move. I could see in his eyes it was already over. They tried compressions, but couldn't get an airway, or a pulse. After 10 minutes they leisurely drove to the hospital without lights or sirens where they pronounced him doa. It only took about 2 minutes tops. I'm fairly sure he was dead before we were even off the phone with 911. It was the craziest shit ever. I didn't even think that was possible. Fuck.***** What happened was so goddamn crazy and unlikely, I highly doubt this is typical. Never really found out what exactly happened, but doctors assumed his tumor ruptured and he bled out. And 3 hours later his alarm clock went off because he was gonna go to work. It's crazy. He worked 40 hours a week up until the end. Through stage 4 lung cancer spread to his liver, diaphragm and brain, partial paralysis from radiation, through chemo. He was head of maintenance at a local steel treating plant, and essentially the place would fall apant without him. He couldn't leave his coworkers hanging. The only reason he didn't work his last day was because it was sunday. Throughout his whole battle he only called in sick once. Woke up with a fever of 104°, was like "fuck this I'm going back to bed." He was never dying. He was living. Still got up at 5am everyday. Still drank, smoked until the last 2 weeks when he was on a new rougher chemo. He was willing to give it all up to keep going. Still enjoyed bitching about the government and weather with me, helping fix up the house. When I left for Louisville Friday, he was working, watching tv, playing with the dogs, just living, and then Sunday night, as soon as i got home, he was gone. That is what makes this so hard. It's like he was ripped away in an instant. No warning. It still hasn't set in. That's what's so fucked up about cancer. You never see it coming even when you do. Nothing could fucking stop him. He was indestructible, until one day it just happened. I'm just so desperate to talk to him about anything. I keep going to the cemetery, Drink a beer, pour one on the ground, and just ramble on about life and stuff for a while. It's fairly cathartic, and seems to hurt less every time. That's when memories and shit take over. I'm really just happy to know him, and try to carry on his spirit. Never met anybody who didn't like him. He did his best to make sure my Mom, brother and I, his coworkers, friends, family, would be ok and put everyone else first even until the end. There's no words to describe what the world has lost. I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer you. I don't. It just sucks. It really fucking sucks. All you can do is just keep on going. That's what my dad did, and that's what my family's doing. Eventually it'll suck a little less. If my dad proved anything, it's that the human spirit can conquer fucking anything.
[last edit 5/20/2013 6:58 AM by budda - edited 4 times]
| Awesome Music Why couldn't you put the bunny back in the box? - Nicholas Cage |
| jellybeans95
Location: Middletown, OH Gender: Female Total Likes: 77 likes
That... is a really incredible synopsis!
| | | | | Re: Those Everyday Things That Piss You Off... Part Two < Reply # 672 on 5/20/2013 11:28 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Budda, sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine how rough that is.
Dave, sorry for what you are going through as well, cancer is a real whore. I wish both your dad and your friend the absolute best.
Lost 3 people close to me (a grandma, a grandpa, and a good friend)to cancer and now am watching the boyfriend's dad have an uphill battle with it. You are right that even when you know it's there, you never see it coming. What doesn't help in our situation is the bf hasn't really lost anyone close to him, other than 3 years ago, his grandpa dying. He had Alzheimer's, was 83, and half out of his gourd, so that wasn't as big a shock. Further that with the fact that his mom has tried to sugarcoat and prance around the severity of what's going on with his dad so the bf "won't worry", and now that things are getting worse, it's really blindsided him. He feels he was cheated out of time with his dad while he was healthy and won't get another chance to do everything he wanted.
| dsankt: In fact, the day I die yall are welcome to form an orderly queue and run a train on my eye sockets. I'll be dead and frankly, will not give a f*ck. budda: That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Fuck me sideways this is insane. ~~~~~~ Because it's Cincinnati |
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